- How long will I have to tap for?
- How many sessions will it take to ‘clear’ this stuff?
- Will I have to tap every day FOREVER?
Karl Dawson and I discussed this subject at length when we were co-writing our book. Although we can have those truly amazing EFT sessions, ones that we won’t ever forget, where we saw our past traumas from new angles and felt a sense of peace we’ve never had before, there are also ingrained patterns which will take longer to transform.
When I first used EFT it was for writing and smoking and I remember exclaiming, “Oh my God, I’m going to be addicted to using EFT – it will be my new thing!” Luckily I had a skilled practitioner who gently reframed the word ‘addiction’ to ‘helpful tool’.
So, did I quit my 20-a-day habit straight away? No. It took about six months to get to a point where I was ready and I had to untangle all of the associations which were part of it. When I looked at the patterns of addiction and escapism in my life, I saw how deep they went and how long they’d been running.
One session wonders with EFT are a rarity.
It it much more about the self-work, the realisations and the movement from one habit to a more peaceful pattern.
It is a journey.
It is not our job to fix anyone. Everyone is perfect just as they are.
A lady who might be struggling with losing weight and sugar addiction may discover that actually it’s not about the sugar at all. It’s the feeling that the sugar gives her. The reminder of happy treat times from her childhood and connection with her family. We can look these beliefs in a few sessions, yet combining that work creating new patterns in the mind such replacing sugar with fruit, reducing TV time with walking and listening to an audio book makes the results much more powerful and long lasting.
When it is one trauma behind a reaction, for example a phobia, or a specific pain in the body, they may be less instances when this reaction happened. If you’ve got a phobia of frogs, it’s quite easy to avoid frogs for instance so there may be only a few memories to trace this phobia back to and clear using EFT and Matrix Reimprinting.
If however, there are hundreds of memories relating to a specific issue such as being anxious, there will be a large morphic field of behaviour underpinning this reaction. The brain also starts to generalise or pattern match with similiar situations.
It is unlikely that you will clear 20 years of anxiety in one session. You may however, reduce the anxiety about a specific situation and have new ways to deal with those stressful emotions when they arise. It is about combining EFT with Inspired Action.
Often, it’s a case of doing six sessions, equipping yourself or your client with the tools going forward, exploring any secondary gains and examining the issue from all angles.
Going from believing that it’s dangerous to stand up and be heard as you might get anxious or laughed at, to being confident enough to contribute to a discussion in the board room or putting your hand up at a conference is a big move forward.
The stomach butterflies might still be there in the beginning, but you can use EFT on those and eventually the symptoms of anxiety around ‘being heard’ reduce.
Eventually, we create new habits and neural pathways in our brain that support us in the direction we want to go in. Then one day, our hand goes up automatically, we feel good about our contribution, it feels safe to be heard and, importantly, we don’t berate ourselves afterwards.
How long does EFT take?
I’ve had a few one session wonders. They’ve been mainly focussed on a specific issues or traumas such as forgiving a parent, overcoming grief, phobias and PTSD. The work I do is much more about empowering people to find their own tools to equip them through life.
Right now, on a professional level, I’m using EFT for moving through the pressure of publishing a book. On a personal level, I’m having sessions focussed on pregnancy and welcoming this new soul into our family. I love being pregnant and I can’t wait to give birth, however, there are still parts of me worrying about how I’m going to be able to cope as a Mum of two. How will our eldest find siblinghood? How will I be able to combine time for creativity with being a Mum of a newborn?
When we hear that someone meditates, we don’t ask, how long do you think you’ll do that for? It is the same with EFT. When you feel and see the changes, it becomes part of your life. You use it when you need to.
We will all face life challenges. People we care about will die. We will experience pain. Life will throw us a curveball. We may want to move through a certain situation with ease and grace.
People often don’t go for the goals for the fear of how they can make them feel (exposed, not good enough, scared, anxious) yet, using EFT we can get to a point where we don’t have to fear how our emotions will make us feel. And if we don’t have to fear our emotions, well, we can do anything!